Yes, I know that’s the title of a Tina Turner song….and a catchy one at that. But the kind of love I suspect Tina was talking about isn’t exactly the type of love I’m talking about here. As I thought & prayed about what topic to write about, I immediately knew—love. Not the gushy, feel-good, make-you-giddy kind of love, although that’s fun. I’m talking about the hard stuff—the UNconditional kind (agape); the kind that will test you to your very limits and say, “are you really sure that’s what you meant?” Agape can only be tested when faced with the most difficult character traits, flaws, short-comings, and circumstances of the ones we have decided to love. Agape isn’t based on what the other person is, can be, or even in how they treat you. It is a decision to love regardless of any condition.
Perhaps one of my very favorite passages in scripture is one that is incredibly prominent concerning love. We hear it at weddings, it sounds sweet and touching…but what about the challenge to live it? What about living it not only with the people that we “like” but also our enemies?
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8a
I am currently in the middle of a journey that is testing my love-walk. This isn’t the first instance that my choice to love someone has been tested, and I’m sure it will not be the last. My personal details are not necessarily key. The fact that you are either on a journey with similar implications or will one day face one is the focus. I have learned (and am learning) that agape is:
Patient: willing to wait on God’s timing with a joyful and expectant heart
Kind: believing and speaking the best of others
Not envious: not jealous, resentful, or grudging
Not boastful: not speaking of self with excessive pride, exaggeration, or vanity
Not proud: not seeking satisfaction over something regarded as credited to oneself
Not rude: not being rough, harsh, ungentle, discourteous, or impolite—especially in a deliberate way
Not self-seeking: looking out for the best interest of the other party; putting personal interest and gain aside to seek what is best for the other
Not easily-angered: not irritable or easily provoked
Not a record-keeper of wrongs: not resentful, not a “score-keeper” (True forgiveness and mercy are staples of agape.)
Not delightful in evil/injustice/wrongdoing: not receiving enjoyment out of immoral or wicked deeds that would hurt or mislead the other
Pleased/Rejoicing in the truth: taking delight in honesty; interacting without deceit or manipulation
Always protecting: seeking to look after, guard, or shield appropriately
Always trusting: constantly and unquestionably confident
Always hoping: continually looking forward in faith with expectancy
Never failing: never giving up no matter the situation or circumstance; never passing away, dwindling, losing strength, or vigor
In our own limited humanness we are incapable of such a display of love. It is only through the power, mercy, and grace of our Lord through the Holy Spirit that we are able to have a love-walk that mirrors scripture. While agape can bring great pain at times because of its insistence upon endurance no matter what, it is also the one that can bring the deepest fulfillment. It is the only type of love that can truly point others to the person of Jesus Christ.
Who in your life do you need help to love without condition? An enemy that has wounded you deeply? Someone that is currently incapable of reciprocating love? Ask for God to give you His heart toward those individuals, and prepare to see your heart change and agape to grow.
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