Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. ~Gal 6:2
Jesus wept. ~John 11:35
For many years of my life I spent (what I didn’t realize) was a lot of energy making sure that everything looked picture perfect on the outside. I made sure my hair was perfect, my makeup was perfect, clothing perfect, and if you ever asked me how things were going….well, they were perfect as well. Some of you might think that it would be incredibly apparent to the rest of the world that there was no way that my life could always be perfect—but you would be wrong.
In fact, people bought my story. Sometimes, I even bought my story. When bad things did happen…I just put on a brave face, let the world know that everything was perfect, and would then do one of two things. Either I would cry and fall apart in my own private time alone, or I would bottle up every emotion I was feeling and would pretend that there was actually nothing to deal with…everything was fine.
Some of you may be able to relate. The problem is that these methods did little else but cause me to feel more isolated, more alone, and like there was no one else in this world that was facing a battle. Why did I feel this way??? Why do so many of you feel this way??? Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that’s the way the majority of us behave. We put on the good face; we put on the good show. There is an intense battle, but no one ever knows. You can be standing across from Susie who has just gone through what you are dealing with, but she can’t help you because you are both too proud and too concerned with the external appearance to share what is happening in your hearts.
We are afraid to be vulnerable. We are taught to burn bridges and build walls. But where does that lead us? It leads us to a place where we are not protected, but isolated from the outside world, and there is no way for anyone to be able to come save us. We feel lonely and out of touch. It’s a miserable place to be.
About four years ago I decided to make a change. It wasn’t a change that was brought on by some major revelation. It was a change that was brought on through necessity and some gentle guiding by a mentor in my life. The walls had to come down. They had been built up so deep and so high that I had become isolated and sank into a pit of depression and despair. Many people that know me are shocked to think that I would deal with depression. It was very real, very dark, and very ugly.
The road back was tough…..but OH so worth it! I actually had to learn how to be able to interact with people again on a level that went beyond the superficial. What I learned through the experience is to never discount the battles and struggles of others.
Most people won’t have to face that, and I am so thankful for those of you that never will. But some of you will have to learn how to let people in to your life. Some of you will need to learn that it’s okay to say that it’s a tough day, and you are struggling. Now here is a major balance point: Learning to be open doesn’t mean that everyone knows everything that is going on in your life all the time. Wisdom and discernment are still key. Being transparent also isn’t a free ticket to gossip about your friend, family member or significant other.
Being transparent is about other people......AND it’s about you. What are you dealing with, and how can that situation be used by God to be able to minister into someone else’s life…..how can it help provide hope? Ask God to help you to move further into the realm of a "real life" that impacts others, rather than settling for an empty facade.
