The Proverbs 31 Woman (yes, her!)- Day 2

A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman–who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. [Prov. 12:4; 18:22; 19:14.] The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. (Proverbs 31:10-12 AMP)

The "Proverbs 31 Woman" (proverbs 31:10-31) was written as an acrostic poem to give spiritual and practical understanding of what it means to be a woman/wife of noble character. While we may not all be married, there are still important virtues to glean from this first section.

First, it's apparent that not every woman is one of "noble character."  She obviously has to be searched out.  The Amplified Bible describes her as "capable, intelligent, and virtuous." Virtuous and noble are synonymous, but what do these words really mean? If you check out Merriam-Webster, you'll find that essentially these mean “of high moral character” or “chaste” [basically not having a sexual nature, or abstaining from such].  Seeing as how God placed Song of Solomon in the Bible, and if you study Paul's teachings, I am quite certain chaste was not the meaning intended concerning a man searching out a virtuous woman to be his wife. 

A second thing is quite clear:   when you are a virtuous woman, you are incredibly valuable.  We are able to be trusted completely.  Trust is priceless.  If you are able to explicitly trust someone, you are able to enjoy an immense peace.  Let’s ask ourselves some difficult questions. 

• Can you be trusted to be fully honest, yet loving in your honesty....even in the toughest situations? 
• Can you be trusted to always to look out for the best for your loved ones? What if the best for them means a more difficult journey for you?
• Can you be trusted to not only react well & celebrate in the good times, but to respond appropriately and lovingly when difficult situations arise?  

Our third focus based on this passage is to be a “builder of the good” within our household.  In order to be a builder of the good, we can’t be a “destroyer with the negative.”  Are we seeking to criticize or belittle those around us?  We can’t be a builder if our favorite tool is a wrecking ball.

 

Our lovely Proverbs 31 woman “comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.”  Certainly this can feel like a tall order.  Does him ONLY good?  That really doesn’t feel like it allows much room for error.  Young’s Literal Translation says it this way:

“She hath done him good, and not evil, all days of her life.” (v.12)

I don’t believe that this verse is calling for perfection.  That would quite frankly be a tall order we are each unable to fulfill.  However, when we look at Young’s translation we see that it comes down to a good ‘ole good versus evil scenario.  This begins to uncover more of a heart issue rather than mere action.  Are we acting out of a resentful or angry heart?  Or are we acting out of a heart filled with grace, love, and expectancy?

Practically speaking, whether you are currently married, engaged, dating, or single, this is an important foundation to build. 

• What if we each sought to become a woman who held to a high moral standard, was completely trustworthy in ALL our ways, and acted to be a “builder of the good” within our sphere of influence?
• What would our relationships look like?  How would that influence others within our circle? What about your children or the young people that are watching on a regular basis?
• What if we focused on our relationship with Christ in the same way as described in these 3 verses?

Which of these concepts is most difficult for you at this season in your life?  Make note of that in your prayer journal/notebook, and ask God to reveal the steps you should take to be shaped into the best version of yourself in that area.  He is always faithful when we seek after Him with our whole heart!

Don't Stop Believin'!

I actually shared the following post exactly 2 years ago today. I realize that I have already posted today. However, I was looking through some old emails looking to gain perspective on a topic. As I sifted through exchanges with a trusted friend, I realized one thing....what has been placed on my heart hasn't waivered, and has actually grown stronger. The same thing I dealt with then, I deal with now....only in a different leg of the journey. As I pray that the finish line for this part of the race comes quickly, looking back at the "start" of the journey gives me endurance to go the next stretch. Tomorrow morning I will also be sharing a post that was dated from 5/2/2009. As for tonight's retrospective, I hope you enjoy!

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"One of the primary reasons Helen Kellar never gave up on herself was that Anne Sullivan never gave up on her." p. 59, Never Give Up by Joyce Meyer

How often do we "give up" on people? Perhaps they are difficult, they are going through trying circumstances, or we feel like we don't have "time" to deal with what is going on. Maybe they have made the same mistake more than once. We can come up with a laundry list of justifications. But how appropriate is that response?

Consider the story of Helen Kellar from the book The Miracle Worker. Helen Kellar had many characteristics that would made her situation "messy" or difficult to deal with. She was both deaf and blind, and as a result of the frustration she felt from these issues, she would become violently angry, lashing out at those closest to her. Multiple people had already given up on her, and deemed her situation as "hopeless."

Anne Sullivan could have very easily done the same and decided that this assignment was too hard, that God would never ask her to endure such a thing. She could have justified that Helen had too many difficulties, and that she would never be able to overcome all the struggles she faced in her life. Instead, what she chose to do was walk with Helen through her struggles, and ultimately to a changed life.

Did Anne "fix" everything wrong with Helen? Was she the full reason that Helen Kellar became the person she was later in life? No. While Anne helped Helen in the ways that she was led, it was God's work inside Helen that ultimately changed her. Anne was there, though, never giving up on Helen.

We cannot change anyone. We cannot fix someone else's problems, issues, or difficulties. It is only when we lay them on God's altar and allow Him full reign to do what He needs to do in their lives that real and lasting changes occur. God may call you to walk beside someone in their time of trial. He may call you to "be there" from a distance. You may be called to remain an unknown prayer warrior on that person's behalf. The response is still the same......if God has placed that person on your heart, never give up on them.

The Bible teaches us that God knows every moment of every day of our lives, before we even are born on this earth (see Psalm 139). That means God knows the past, present, and future of both you & the person he has laid on your heart. Do you trust God's wisdom in directing you who to pray for or be there for, or is your logic and human understanding superior to the Almighty's omniscience?

If he calls you to stand beside or pray for someone through their storm, he will give you the strength for that. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 states, "The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it." God will give you the strength to continue to pray, to stand beside, or to be there as a witness for that person. Don't feel, however, that you are the one that must make things happen. That is not our role. God is the source of healing, redemption, and change.

Who has God laid on your heart today & in what capacity? Be obedient to His call; He will be true to his promise.

Are you Ready??? Lessons in Love...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. ~1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

This week is leading me to reflect quite a bit on love—what it is, what it isn’t. One of my absolute favorite passages in the Bible is the “love passage” in 1 Corinthians. I don’t love it for the mushy, gushy reasons that some people do. To me, if it seems all warm-fuzzy to you, you haven’t ever really been challenged in this area to truly love someone. This isn’t just a set of verses read at all of your friends’ weddings. It’s an honest assessment of what REAL love is supposed to be, and a challenge to those of us that claim to be in Christ to actually walk it out. If you’ve been tested in your love walk, it’s a set of truly poignant verses that are quite humbling. It may sound odd, but I count it as a privilege to have encountered such difficult trials in this area.

I know I have written on this subject before (see What’s Love Got to do with it?), but it’s one that I think is often looked at in passing. My goal today is to essentially give you some food for thought to digest over this weekend—to challenge you AND to challenge me. Also, with this weekend being Easter, our greatest example of love is plainly staring us in the face. God’s love for us through Christ is THE lesson in love.

Look again at Paul’s description of love from 1 Corinthians. At a recent conference, Beth Moore stated “True love always possesses a longing.” Joyce Meyer said today on her facebook feed “You can’t walk in love for free….it costs something.” Are you willing to face the longing if it’s never met? Are you willing to pay the price to walk in love?

Could you truly love someone if it cost you what meant most to you? What if it were a child, a family member, or a relationship you’ve prayed about? Can you love someone to the point of complete selflessness? The honest answer is that you and I are incapable of this kind of sustained selfless love on our own. It is only through the One that IS love that we can love someone even when we must die to self.

It’s a love that each of us is craving, and we become frustrated when the people around us cannot give us that truly unconditional, self-sacrificing love. We must first receive that love from our Heavenly Father before we are able to give it to others. This type of love requires motives to be checked regularly. You can’t “fake out” God when it comes to matters of the heart.

Take a few moments to look at the relationships in your life. Give an honest self-assessment of how your love walk is looking with these people. What is the number one way you can seek to increase your love walk right now? Go to the Lord to receive His love as a free gift….in return He will strengthen you to love those around you in ways that will astound you.

Moving Forward

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” ~Isaiah 43:18-19

“I’m not going back, I’m moving ahead

I’m here to declare to You my past is over

In You, all things are made new

Surrendered my life to Christ

I’m moving, moving forward”

Lyrics from Moving Forward by Israel Houghton

So early this morning, this already seems to be the theme for the day. At this time in my life, things seem to be changing and moving forward at an almost break-neck pace. This is certainly not a bad thing….and considering the season I have recently exited in my life, it’s certainly a welcome change. However it is just that….change.

As humans, we tend to be creatures of habit. Sometimes that makes change—even good change, a little fearful. However, at this point in my journey I find that my fear is overshadowed…..this time around it feels like it is being pushed aside, and instead I find myself in hopeful expectation, anticipation, and quite honestly a sense of amazement. I’m seeing things come to pass that I felt God place on my heart in years past. I am reminded of the following scripture:

“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.” ~I John 4:18 (NLT)

When we focus on God and what He says, we can be confident and fear is driven away. So many of these things I felt impressed upon my heart, but I had no idea how they would come to pass, because the circumstances I saw didn’t seem to make any sense or give any hint of ability to ever change. I just had to trust God and remain faithful in the steps He asked me to take. Our obedience + His supernatural ability = miraculous changes in events. He promises to complete the work He started in each of us.

“The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.” ~I Thessalonians 5:24 (emphasis mine)

My journey is far from over. There are still promises I have on my heart that have yet to be fulfilled. Continued obedience and following where He leads is key. I may not see now how those circumstances can change, but thankfully God is not dependent upon my ability to know what He knows. This is where faith enters the picture. I know that He is doing a new thing. I know He can make a way where there doesn’t seem to be one, and provision where none seems to exist. It says so in His Word. I can trust Him and follow Him so I can move forward. I trust He will guide me in respect to the details.

Is God bringing you to a new place? Ask for discernment to be able to “perceive it.” Seek His guidance and direction, and watch Him show you things that will truly amaze you.

Keeping your Past from Invading Your Future

“…”How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love”

But don't you know who you are?
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You've been remade”

I often think in song. It’s an odd characteristic (I think), but nevertheless, it’s the way my mind works. While I don’t have the talent of song-writing, I admire and respect those that do. When a songwriter captures thoughts and feelings and sets them to music, it allows for others to share similar sentiments with all barriers removed.

One of the things that I do when I am actively trying to work and pray through issues is listen to music… Praise and worship to God are a huge part of who I am. I have been spending a lot of time in prayer over specific things and specific people, and so I have been walking and jogging and listening to music….a lot. Perhaps it has to do with who and what I am praying for, and perhaps it is an actual trend, but I have noticed something wonderful about such a large percentage of contemporary Christen music right now—the message of newness.

So often, people are concerned with “getting life on the right track” so they can find or return to God. We become so focused on the mistakes and poor choices that we have made, we feel we must either be forced to live in separation from a loving Heavenly Father or punish ourselves for all the wrong we have done. But there is no need for that. You see, it is our Savior that paid the price for us and makes us new.

Christ chose to take your punishment for every sin, every poor choice, every mistake. When you ask Him to be your Savior, you are accepting His payment for your sins. When we choose not to forgive ourselves and to move into newness, we are saying that what He did wasn’t enough. We are instead choosing to carry our past into our future. This causes us to be weighed down so heavily with burdens that we no longer have reason to bear.

Not one of us is too good to not need a Savior……and not one of us is too bad to not have Him serve as payment in full for what we have done and will do in this life. Take Him at His Word. When you have sincerely asked for forgiveness, He washes the memory of that sin into the sea of forgetfulness. Allow yourself to act like the One that paid the price for what you have done….move past the regrets, the hurts, the sins, the mistakes, and the poor choices and into newness of self, newness of life. Look forward to your future with hopeful expectation of a life with greater power and bolder influence to point others in the direction of the Life-Saver.

Take a moment and thank the Christ that has given you newness of life—heart, soul, and mind. Is there a song of worship or praise that echoes the sentiments of your heart? Share it with your Savior.

“Cause this is not about what you've done
But what's been done for you
This is not about where you've been
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel
But what He felt to forgive you
And what He felt to make you loved

You are more than the choices that you've made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You've been remade”

Lyrics courtesy of “You are More,” Tenth Avenue North

What’s Love Got to do With It?

Yes, I know that’s the title of a Tina Turner song….and a catchy one at that. But the kind of love I suspect Tina was talking about isn’t exactly the type of love I’m talking about here. As I thought & prayed about what topic to write about, I immediately knew—love. Not the gushy, feel-good, make-you-giddy kind of love, although that’s fun. I’m talking about the hard stuff—the UNconditional kind (agape); the kind that will test you to your very limits and say, “are you really sure that’s what you meant?” Agape can only be tested when faced with the most difficult character traits, flaws, short-comings, and circumstances of the ones we have decided to love. Agape isn’t based on what the other person is, can be, or even in how they treat you. It is a decision to love regardless of any condition.

Perhaps one of my very favorite passages in scripture is one that is incredibly prominent concerning love. We hear it at weddings, it sounds sweet and touching…but what about the challenge to live it? What about living it not only with the people that we “like” but also our enemies?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8a

I am currently in the middle of a journey that is testing my love-walk. This isn’t the first instance that my choice to love someone has been tested, and I’m sure it will not be the last. My personal details are not necessarily key. The fact that you are either on a journey with similar implications or will one day face one is the focus. I have learned (and am learning) that agape is:

Patient: willing to wait on God’s timing with a joyful and expectant heart

Kind: believing and speaking the best of others

Not envious: not jealous, resentful, or grudging

Not boastful: not speaking of self with excessive pride, exaggeration, or vanity

Not proud: not seeking satisfaction over something regarded as credited to oneself

Not rude: not being rough, harsh, ungentle, discourteous, or impolite—especially in a deliberate way

Not self-seeking: looking out for the best interest of the other party; putting personal interest and gain aside to seek what is best for the other

Not easily-angered: not irritable or easily provoked

Not a record-keeper of wrongs: not resentful, not a “score-keeper” (True forgiveness and mercy are staples of agape.)

Not delightful in evil/injustice/wrongdoing: not receiving enjoyment out of immoral or wicked deeds that would hurt or mislead the other

Pleased/Rejoicing in the truth: taking delight in honesty; interacting without deceit or manipulation

Always protecting: seeking to look after, guard, or shield appropriately

Always trusting: constantly and unquestionably confident

Always hoping: continually looking forward in faith with expectancy

Never failing: never giving up no matter the situation or circumstance; never passing away, dwindling, losing strength, or vigor

In our own limited humanness we are incapable of such a display of love. It is only through the power, mercy, and grace of our Lord through the Holy Spirit that we are able to have a love-walk that mirrors scripture. While agape can bring great pain at times because of its insistence upon endurance no matter what, it is also the one that can bring the deepest fulfillment. It is the only type of love that can truly point others to the person of Jesus Christ.

Who in your life do you need help to love without condition? An enemy that has wounded you deeply? Someone that is currently incapable of reciprocating love? Ask for God to give you His heart toward those individuals, and prepare to see your heart change and agape to grow.